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Talking to Your Wife About ED: What I Wish I'd Done

Written by Todd Chrisley

Published March 8, 2026

# The Conversation I Should Have Had With My Wife a Year Sooner

I am not a man who struggles to talk. Ask anyone who has ever watched me on television. But there was one conversation I kept putting off, and the longer I waited, the more weight it carried. It sat between me and my wife like a stone on the table neither of us was willing to pick up. And I am here to tell you today that the waiting cost us more than the conversation ever could have.

This is about talking to your wife about ED. I know that sentence alone made some of you tighten up. That is exactly why I am writing it.

What the Silence Actually Does

Here is what I believed, in the part of me I was not being honest about: I believed that if I did not say it out loud, it was not fully real. Men do this. We manage things. We compartmentalize. We tell ourselves we will handle it quietly, on our own, without bringing anyone else into it.

But a marriage is not a place for compartments. It is a covenant. And when you start protecting your wife from something you are ashamed of, you are not protecting her. You are protecting your pride and calling it love.

The silence has a cost. She notices. She does not know the name of what she is noticing, but she feels the distance. She wonders if it is her. She starts to carry a question she was never meant to carry. And the two of you are now living around a thing neither of you has named. That is not a marriage operating at its potential. That is two people being lonely in the same house.

According to research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, erectile dysfunction affects an estimated 30 million men in the United States, with prevalence rising significantly in men over 40. The National Institutes of Health has reported that roughly 52 percent of men between 40 and 70 experience some degree of ED. This is not a rare condition. It is one of the most common things a man your age will face. And the most common response is silence. That has to stop.

What I Actually Learned

There came a point where I had to make a decision about what kind of husband I wanted to be. I had been through things that stripped away a lot of the performance. When you have sat in a place where you have lost nearly everything — status, freedom, the ordinary rhythms of daily life — you learn fast which things actually matter. And what I found on the other side of that is that the things worth keeping are the things you were honest about.

I said to Julie what I had been avoiding saying. Not a speech. Not a presentation. Just the plain truth. And here is what happened: she already knew something was wrong. She did not know the specifics, but she knew. What she had not known was that I was willing to let her in.

That moment of honesty did more for the health of our marriage than any amount of managing it on my own ever could have. Not because it solved the physical part on the spot. But because it restored the covenant part. We were back on the same side of the table.

If you have been telling yourself that your wife does not need to know, or that you will handle it before she notices, I want you to hear this plainly: she already knows something is off. What she needs from you is not a solution. She needs to know you trust her enough to tell the truth.

The Principle That Holds

Stewardship is a word I come back to often. God gave you a body. He gave you a marriage. Those are not things you coast through. They are things you tend. Maintenance is not weakness. Pretending nothing needs attention is not strength. Strength is walking toward the hard thing and saying, "This is where we are, and here is what I am going to do about it."

The American Urological Association-guideline) classifies ED as a medical condition with well-established treatment pathways. This is not a character flaw. It is a medical reality, and it responds to medical care. You would not ignore chest pressure for a year out of embarrassment. Do not do that here either.

What to Actually Do

Start with the practical. These are not complicated instructions. They are the fundamentals that support every system in your body, including the ones that matter here.

Eat like you respect the machine. National Nutrition Month is a good time to take stock of what you are actually putting in. Men over 40 need adequate protein to preserve lean mass — peer-reviewed research consistently supports 1.2 to 1.6 grams per kilogram of body weight per day. A Mediterranean-style eating pattern, rich in olive oil, fish, vegetables, legumes, and nuts, has been associated with better cardiovascular health and improved endothelial function — the same vascular system that drives sexual performance. According to a study published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, adherence to a Mediterranean diet was significantly associated with reduced risk of ED. Results may vary.

Sleep without negotiation. The NIH has linked poor sleep to reduced testosterone levels. Seven to eight hours is not a luxury. It is infrastructure.

Walk. Lift. Repeat. Moderate cardiovascular activity — thirty minutes most days — supports nitric oxide production and blood flow. Resistance training twice a week preserves testosterone and metabolic health. You do not need a program. You need consistency.

Then see a licensed physician. Not a friend. Not the internet. A doctor who can evaluate what is actually happening and give you real options. That conversation is between you and a licensed provider, not support staff and not a search engine.

A note from Good Guy Rx:

Good Guy Rx is a technology platform that connects men to independent licensed physicians and independent state-licensed pharmacies. If you are ready to have a conversation with a licensed provider about ED treatment options, including medications prepared by state-licensed compounding pharmacies in accordance with FDA regulations, the right place to start is a private online assessment.

Start your confidential online visit here.

No waiting room. No awkward conversation at a front desk. A licensed physician reviews your health history and determines what, if anything, is appropriate for you. Results may vary.

The Close

The conversation I avoided for too long was not the one that broke anything. It was the one that kept something from being fully whole. Do not make the trade I made. Say the hard thing to the person who chose to do life with you. That is what a husband of character actually does.

Take care of what God gave you.

Sources

• Prevalence of Erectile Dysfunction — National Institutes of Health (NIH)
• Erectile Dysfunction Guideline — American Urological Association-guideline)
• Mediterranean Diet and Erectile Dysfunction — The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition
• Poor Sleep Linked to Low Testosterone — NIH Research Matters
• Journal of Sexual Medicine — Prevalence and Risk Factors for ED

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